Why did we write this book?

The book, Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism (The Collective Book Studio, 2021), was written between the 2020 election and the January 6 insurrection as a heart-led, practical collection of stories, history, and action steps. It helps to fill in the gaps for people who might have lived in homogeneous communities, whose schools didn’t teach the complete history of the United States, and who might still be grappling with the question, “Well, what do I DO to be more anti-racist?”

Why did we write it during a particularly difficult time? Sara picked up the phone and asked Misasha that very question, because we were in the midst of a pandemic - which meant that not only were we adapting our lives and grappling with income insecurity, but we also had our hands full homeschooling our children.

As you do when your best friend asks a question, you give the first honest answer that pops up in your mind, and Misasha said this: “I’m trying to save my kids’ lives. Because if this book gets into even one person’s hands who has the power to help my kid - or someone who looks like them - and keep them safe before they get home to me, we will have succeeded.” Of course we immediately started writing this book.

 How (and when) to use this book 

• Have you ever found yourself sitting in silence when someone at a dinner party tells a racist joke?

• What happens if you overhear a microaggression at work - do you only realize much later what you wish you had said?

• Do you know why that joke or comment is offensive - and do you know how much more grave the impact of racism can be in our country?

If these questions resonate with you, whether now or at any time in your life, then (1) your honesty is admirable, and (2) this is the book for you. Filled with short, targeted chapters that include personal narratives, historical context, and practical tips, Dear White Women empowers us to be anti-racist in our everyday lives.

When should you use this book? You can use the book to get answers to a question you’re grappling with (but… I’m not racist, am I?), to figure out what you can do differently right now, and to feel like you’ve gotten a Race 101 education so you’re better informed for whatever comes next in your life. The deepest honor has been when people of color tell us they’re gifting this book to the folks in their lives who keep asking them questions about their personal experiences as racialized people. We are here for all uses of this book that help make a positive difference in people’s lives.

 Praise

Other written works

Feminists Talk Whiteness

Feminists Talk Whiteness (Taylor & Francis, 2024) offers a multidimensional introduction to whiteness as an ideology and a system of institutional practices, exploring how and why whiteness is a feminist issue. Misasha and Sara were honored to contribute a chapter on antiracist cyberactivism vs performative slacktivism.

Fall Down Seven, get up eight

This Japanese proverb speaks to resilience, and many people have asked Misasha about how she finds hope. In Get Up Eight, Misasha collect articles that inspire her, demonstrate resilience, and use humor to remind us that, in the end, it’s all of us or none of us. And none of us is not an option she’s willing to accept. Are you?

Unscripted Parenting

Together with Dr. Kelli Harding, Sara is on a mission to shift our understanding of success - based on the science - to be better parents for our teenagers and young adults (especially for those kids who feel different). Instead of distinguishing between differences, there is great power in all coming together to directly and inclusively address the myth of normal that perpetuates exclusion in all forms and limits us as parents, our children, and society.